words-pandemic-2020

Words Of The 2020 Pandemic

Are you as amazed at the new words, that are now rolling off all of our tongues as I am? Spurred on by the 2020 pandemic I felt the need to document this from the level of us gals. So make yourself a hot cuppa tea and read on ladies…

Iso

An affection term given to isolation. When the government was announcing all new terms aka stay the fuck home directives, we become just a tad confused between quarantine, social distancing and isolation. Being a simple and fun bunch of humans, us Aussies shortened one of these words grouping all three into it.

The word Iso was born.

Iso may never actually leave our language now that it is here, given it may be sometime before a vaccine (if ever) is created. So basically we will be placing ourselves in ‘iso’ at any point we aren’t feeling well and fearful we could become the centre of a COVID hotspot.

This word has also birthed other words like … isodrinking, isoeating, isobrows, isohair, isofashion, isofuckingnot, isohadenough.

Work From Home (WFM)

So I can’t write much about this because I have been working on and off from home for about 5 years. It was business as normal for me (if I can even say I had a business after restrictions took hold). But what I can say is that those that have never done the work from home thing embraced it with vivacity and the new routine of having a regular 15 meeting extend to a 1.5hr zoom call was what made working from home ok (First 20 mins of this meeting was caught up with everyone asking if they could hear each other and fixing their computer audio).

This also saw rise to products dissapearing off shelves in Office Works, as people needed to make their kitchen tables economically correct and buy 58 black fine point pens and 3 new laptops. It also meant purchasing a new wardrobe of elastic-waisted pants, sweaters, cool sneakers, ugg boots and a pretty lipstick.

Our Apple Watches and Fitbits become mental trying to also tell us during WFM that we weren’t getting enough steps. Turns out walking to the fridge 56 times a day for another snack fell short by 9358 steps of your daily goal.

Home Schooling

Once done by rebel women who were brave enough to pull their babes from school to provide them with an education, anyone who was a parent and now at home during the pandemic suddenly required a degree to understand grade 4 English worksheets. Homeschooling therefore was the cause of much panic buying at Dan Murphy’s and the belief booze could be consumed by parent/teacher at fruit break.

Panic Buying

Panic buying has been a term around for some time in Australia. It is what happens when the rains or cyclones are coming and people fear not having any Castello Blue Cheese to have with their glass of red during the 55 minutes or 55 days roads are cut due to floodwaters. This term truly comes into its own at Dan Murphy’s during the pandemic of 2020. As we left our jobs because of being unceremoniously fired or simply to work from home and add homeschooling to our list of tasks at the same time, we all swung into Uncle Dan’s thinking best stock up, there is no way we will survive this without booze.

Never a more accurate thought. During the numb days when we all wondered if we would ever survive this, alcohol become our friend. Sometimes at 9 am before sitting down for 5.6 hrs of zoom meetings and what seemed like 18 hours of homeschooling.

Panic buying was also seen in the toilet paper and cooking aisles as people become ruthless in their plight to ensure they had enough paper for all the bottoms in their house, bread flour and of course yeast for that all important sour dough starter that was going to enable us to feed everyone if all other supply chains feel apart.

Hoarding

So who would have thought we all had a little bit of hoarding syndrome inside of us? Well seeing those grocery shelves starting to become empty and fearing we would all be banged up inside for months as zombies paced up and down our streets, caused this little monster to pop out in the toilet paper aisle firstly, leaving our grocery stores with a toilet paper crisis. Funnily enough, we now have an oversupply of TP and only so many number 2’s being done each day.

In homes everywhere there is cupboards, shelves, rooms and wine cellars full of ‘essential items’. Except for booze…stock piling of that say supplies diminish fast and emergency orders at the bottlo being placed.

Covidiot

Basically anyone doing dumb shit during the pandemic.

They could be:

Someone who ignores the warnings regarding Covid19. Donald Trump is the leader of Covidiots but strangely seems to be protected from this virus despite his country now having lost more people to the Covid19 than the Vietnam War.

He claims it is because of the disinfectant he is injecting. WTF?

Can I just say I am talking about President Of The United States Donal Trump here not a paranoid conspiracy theorist who along with injecting disinfectant also believes 5G towers cause Corona Virus… but happily uses 5G to upload his propaganda on the internet with great speed. This also is also an great example of a Covidiot.

A person who hoards essential items like toilet paper, bread flour, pasta, rice, Loreal hair dye in ash blonde and then after spending 5689.98 on grocery shop, sneaks back to the store weeks later asking for a refund on the stockpile.

You might also see a covidiot hugging everyone she/he sees at the grocery store (with kids in tow) because she is missing people while in isolation. This person might also be immune-compromised and hardly believes a word of the severity of Covid19.

My other favourite type of Covidiot is the person posting their productivity all over the internet. Oh look here, this is my schedule for educating my children, workout routine, keeping my business running and completing a renovation on my house. MEH… the true soldiers of this pandemic laid on the couch staring into space wondering what day it is.

Rona

The affectionate nickname we all gave Covid19 aka Corona Virus when speaking with friends.

“Hey chick, you feeling ok?” Nah I think my Rona is playing up. Sore throat and an incessant need to drink quarantini’s.

This, of course, didn’t mean your friend has Rona. But basically a term given for any slight cold during the pandemic, because that Covid19, it is a sneaky shit. And who knows if that Boomer in aisle 2 at Aldi the other day, the one that sneezed as you nervously pushed your trolley through to grab essentials, the one with 28 packets of toilet paper… they may have shared their Rona. Uh ohhhh.

Quarantini

Now this word formed very soon after everyone got through their front doors with their bottleshop supplies. With the purchase of so many differing spirits, new cocktail recipes were born and the Quarantini become a hit with a few differing recipes for the much loved Martini.

We will be sharing some of these recipes in a future blog.

Iso-Brows

When you have been in isolation so long you have three sets of brows all running horizontally across your face. The first being your original brows with a touch of Freda Kahlo in the middle. Second being the shit show above that could even be creeping into your hairline. Third is below your originals and gives you that real Missing Link effect.

The Iso-Brow affect has sent beauticians into a tizz as they started to open up for some services with restrictions easing. Of course these hard working beauty professionals gained some arousal as they dipped their paddles into the hot wax ready to rip all that unwanted hair from our faces. Yes my brow lady actually made a little noise of excitement as she ripped the bejesus out of my unwanted iso-brows.

I also have it on good authority that there is an Iso-Vag term too… the one for all the hairy vaginas that required a wax too. Good case for laser I think ladies.

Lockdown

The word the government tried not to use but really that’s what happened. We were all saying lockdown, ScoMo was saying restrictions. Lockdown is a far greater word I think. It brings with it feelings of seriousness, authority and the impending zombie apocalypse.

Social Distancing

Basically exiled for the sake of the realm and sounds far more interesting than the 1.5m space we should put between ourselves and others along with staying home because we are risking a zombie apocalypse. A confusing term in the beginning however as it was coupled with isolation and how do you seriously social distance yourself from a 3-year-old breastfeeding child who wants some biddy or your partner who is working from home and has an issue with sexual harassment in the workplace (he being the perpetrator). Anyway, social distancing is the one thing Boomers are doing really well. They are doing it so well it is hard to get the trolley down the aisles at Coles as they catch up on the lawn bowls gossip ‘while socially distancing’.

Pivot

Given I come from a digital marketing background, the word pivot is DRIVING ME CRAZY and is possibly the most overused wank word of the pandemic. I automatically think of someone sitting on a lazy susan spinning themselves around to find themselves in a land of money and dreams.

What those using this word intend to mean is for you to move your energy, business, lifestyle to be able to operate effectively during the pandemic.

Ummm yup … the future is more unknown than ever before. How about we use the word resilience instead of pivot. Resilience is a personality trait that once learned has long term affects on our happiness. Just my thoughts.

On that note… let’s leave this post here shall we?

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